If you’re just scrolling through these pages… pause. You’re in the right place. Breathe… and take it in!
This is probably the most important of all my web pages.
It’s the one that’s the “scariest” for me because it’s so important that I get it right!
At the end of your life, when you look back, what will be important? What is it that really matters? Thankfully, we do not have to be dying to consider these questions.
From those who have gone before us, we hear the relationships we had matter the most.
Learning to trust your intuition reflects your relationship with yourself, and it impacts every relationship you have.
I remember saying, “I am searching for myself.”
A while back, I was talking with a friend.
Like many, I did some reflections on my life during 2020. I thought about which relationships were important to me and whether my actions aligned with my feelings.
Did those I loved the most know it based on how I connected with them?
In 2021, I made it a point to be intentional about who I connected with and how I did it. I wanted to be an active member of the communities I was a part of.
I talked with a friend about my experience of trying to belong or feel like I belonged. I realized as I was talking that I was ruling everyone out because their situation was not exactly like mine. And out of my mouth came, “I am searching for myself.”
Only by searching within can we truly come home.
We laughed, and then the truth of that started to sink in. The path to purpose is in finding myself.
I do not have to improve myself.
I do not have to fix myself.
I have to find myself.
I have to come to terms with my limitations and strengths to get an accurate view of myself. This starts with knowing that I am “enough.”
A beautiful thing occurs when we really start to discover ourselves. We do not have to anxiously anticipate every outcome of every interaction because we have an inner knowing, an inner trust, that we will be able to be with whatever feelings will show up.
We become less concerned with how people think or respond to us because we know who we are and know that the light inside us will still shine.
We believe that other people are enough out of believing we are enough. We feel our own internal safety, worth, and love for ourselves which can pour into valuing and loving others. It can also translate into setting and having healthy boundaries with others out of loving protection for ourselves – everything shifts.
We bring our “stuff” with us wherever we go.
We have patterned behaviors that play out over and over and over. I believe these are unfelt emotions waiting to be felt and have a new response.
All of this shows up with your friends and family… in your home and at work.
This is why you continue to have the same lousy partner with a different name, the same scrutinizing boss, and the same unreliable friends.
And you’ve likely noticed how it can get triggered at any time.
When we believe we are not enough, we operate out of fear. This can show up in the “fear triangle,” which plays out internally and with others and shows up in three roles – the victim (freeze response), the bully (fight response), and the savior (flight response). The savior is a bit confusing. It can be described as fleeing your own situation into the struggles of another to avoid your pain and try to save or fix the pain of others.
When we have the resilience to feel empowered, we do not have to enter that triangle. We can face the fear, have appropriate boundaries, be honest and direct, and move out of that triangle that keeps us stuck.
Slowing down and being still is scary…
Because when we do, our feelings have a chance to show up.
And when they show up, we might not know what to do with them.
And when we can’t manage those thoughts and feelings, life feels out of control.
So, what do we do?
Some management strategies that have been very helpful or useful in the past are no longer serving you. The consequences of misusing alcohol and food, binge-watching shows, checking your phone, and diving into someone else’s problems are now painful enough that they are less effective and starting to worry you.
But when we pay attention to what is happening in our bodies…
… we can notice our intuition.
I worked with someone who feared having a second child from all the medical complications with her first. She desired to have another, but the fear kept her paralyzed. This gripping fear also showed up when she needed to discipline her child appropriately.
We worked through this by locating the fear in her body and watching it transform. She recalled a particular scene in the hospital that was troubling for her. Instead of being back in the room where she was agonizing in pain, she watched it from the nurse’s station. That separation allowed her to have a new perspective. I asked her what she would want to have told herself then, and it was simple but profound, “Everything will be okay.”
As she could feel the pain of that experience from a new and safer distance, she gave herself the needed reassurance. That dissolved the fears about having a second child. It was not a guarantee that this child would not have medical complications, but it was a trust that she would be able to walk through it if they did.
Our intuition is God’s most direct way of communicating with us.
So, it’s incredibly important that we learn to listen to it. It’s a powerful force in our lives! What if you trusted and embraced it instead of feared it?
When you can approach your fear and be with it, love, joy, and peace are on the other side. Your intuition will show up. And I will not have to talk you into trusting your intuition because you will just know it. That deep, inner knowing that people talk about is already at your disposal – I just know the path to help you find it.
I don’t know what your intuition tells you (which makes this work so much fun!). But I have a map of what the journey can look like, and I am familiar with common pitfalls and detours (as well as handy ways to work through or around them).
I know you want to live with purpose and authenticity, and this might be the path for you!
I would love to meet you and talk more. Call me today for your free consultation: (651) 412-3247.