Individual Therapy

You have met the goals of your youth, and you’re wondering…

“Is this it?”

Or you are successful in a few areas – work, school, relationships – but there is one area that you cannot seem to get together.

You appear happy, successful, put together – no one knows how anxious you are, how you cannot sleep at night, that you get so angry over little things, that you have a hidden behavior that you’re really ashamed of, that you get so depressed and hopeless sometimes that your own thoughts scare you.

You have negative thoughts about yourself…

And they do not line up with your faith, nor do they line up with your accomplishments and feedback from others.

The clue that your past impacts your present is growing stronger, but what do you do with that?

If coping were an art form, you would have perfected it. Try as you might to ignore what has happened to you, it just keeps cropping up.

The way things are going is just not working for you. You are out of ideas on living your life with the freedom and joy you have been seeking.

If I asked you to enjoy this moment just a little bit more…

What would you think?

What would you feel?

What would you do?

Go ahead… try it, and see!

For me, it feels like a camera zooming in on my surroundings and then expanding out. In my body, that feels like an exciting tightness in my chest that pours out in a loving release.

I want you to have presence and coherence in your life!

Presence

We usually become more “present” when we want to enjoy the moment more. And conversely, we often enjoy the moment more when we are present.

I worked with someone who struggled with constant thoughts and feelings of anxiety about the world at large and the implications for the future.

We slowed down in session to notice what captured their attention. As they paused, they noticed some of my décor – this took a bit of guidance on my part. It is often the tendency that when we slow down, some of the harder emotions show up and want to be processed. Once they relaxed, they were surprised that all the chatter in their mind was gone. They described it as escaping, though I wonder if it was one of the first times in a long time that they were actually able to be in the moment.

This may not sound earth-shattering, which is actually a good thing. When we have experiences far from our norm, it can be hard to integrate them and then carry them forward. Learning ways to “resource” yourself is really building up your ability to focus on the positive, allowing you to be equipped and ready to touch the negative and thus have a new experience with it. In practice, I want to hear about what is going well and not just focus on the hard stuff because both are real and necessary for healing.

Coherence

It just works better when your life is aligned, organized, and in order.

The opposite of coherence is dissonance. This could be described as a gap – between our actual selves versus what we consider our ideal selves, or our thoughts, feelings, behaviors, and values not being in line.

It seems counterintuitive, but it is the moving through and actually feeling the scary feelings that allow these gaps to decrease. I worked with someone struggling with drinking. Their efforts were thwarted repeatedly, and it became clear they feared failure. The pattern played out this way: the person would start to have the desire and motivation to quit drinking, the fear of failure would creep in, and that would be it. They would drink and then wait for the next spark of motivation to show up.

When we took the time to lean into the fear of failure, they realized what they were afraid of was what they were currently living – trying to scrounge up motivation, white-knuckling the attempt to quit, giving in, and doing it again. Once they noticed and felt that fear, it started to fade, and they started making strides in decreasing their drinking, noticing the fear of failure as it showed up and having a new response with it.

Remember what we said about being enough?

As presence and coherence increase in your life, you’ll find it more satisfying. You’ll realize that you don’t need to “improve” anything – you’re enough just as you are.

This is what authenticity looks like…

This is what it means to feel safe in your body…

This is the key to love and empowerment…

This is what I do. Won’t you join me?

I have spent countless hours creating a space in my office and my presence so you can find safety within.

What does that require of you?

You just need to trust in the process – to “feel your feelings” without being overcome by them.

How do you settle into that trust?

You have to experience it.

How do you experience it?

Come see me, and let’s find out… together. Give me a call for your free consultation: (651) 412-3247.